ISBN 9781913260057 (paperback), 228 pages

Should you marry? Have children? Embrace monogamy, polyamory, or something else entirely?

For most of human history, these questions were largely settled by custom, religion, and social expectation. Today, they are ours to answer.

Never before have we enjoyed so much freedom in our relationships—or felt so uncertain about them. Traditional models are being challenged, new possibilities are opening up, and many people feel more connected yet more confused than ever.

In For Better For Worse, psychiatrist and philosopher Dr Neel Burton brings together history, psychology, philosophy, religion, and anthropology to explore the most intimate and consequential choices we face.

Drawing on more than four thousand years of history, from Ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome to modern psychology and contemporary culture, he examines questions such as:

• Why did marriage evolve, and what purpose does it serve today?
• Is monogamy natural—or merely customary?
• Why is marriage declining in some societies?
• Are married people happier and healthier?
• How is the family changing?
• Should we have children?

Along the way, Burton investigates everything from polyamory, divorce, and same-sex relationships to touch hunger, lust, weddings, bachelor parties, biblical ideas about love and marriage, and the changing meaning of family itself.

Wide-ranging, thought-provoking, and deeply informed, these essays challenge assumptions, illuminate alternatives, and offer fresh perspectives on love, commitment, family, and what it means to live well.

Whether you are making these choices for yourself, reflecting on choices you have already made, or simply seeking to better understand human relationships, For Better For Worse offers a richer understanding of how we love, connect, commit, and build a life together.

About the author

Dr Neel Burton FRSA is a psychiatrist and philosopher. He is a Fellow of Green-Templeton College in the University of Oxford, and the recipient of multiple literary awards. His work has appeared in Aeon and Psychology Today, and has been translated into several languages.

Editorial reviews

A tour-de-force: erudite, funny, and even wise. — Prof Anthony Synott, author of The Body Social and Re-Thinking Men

Whether or not to marry is a choice that is as mystifying as it is momentous. This book is a treasure trove of historical analysis, divergent perspectives, and vital considerations that will help you decide whether, when, how, and with whom to make the leap. — Dr John Amodeo, psychotherapist and author of Dancing with Fire: A Mindful Way to Loving Relationships

Human beings have always struggled to understand love, commitment, and the choices that shape their closest relationships. Across history and cultures, societies have offered many different answers—none of them final. 

For Better For Worse explores how our ideas about relationships, marriage, and family have developed over time, and why they continue to change today. 

Drawing on history, psychology, philosophy, religion, and anthropology, it shows how deeply our most personal relationships are shaped by culture and circumstance rather than nature alone. 

It considers questions such as: 

• The origins and evolution of marriage
• Monogamy, polyamory, and alternative relationship forms
• Changing ideas of love, desire, and human relationships across cultures
• Gender, identity, and shifting social norms
• The history and future of the family

Along the way, it moves from divorce and non-traditional relationships to intimacy, ritual, and changing ideas of commitment. 

Rather than offering simple answers, the book presents a broad perspective on how relationships have been understood in different times and places—and what that might mean for us today. 

For Better For Worse is for readers who want to think more clearly about where our assumptions about love and relationships come from—and how they might look different once seen in a wider light.