The Manic Defence: Why You Can’t Bear to Stop

Sisyphus, by Titian
Sisyphus, by Titian.  Sisyphus is condemned to push his rock forever. Worse than that, he can never put it down.

By Dr Neel Burton — Psychiatrist, philosopher, and wine writer; Fellow of Green Templeton College, University of Oxford; author of over twenty books.

Essay substantially revised on 17 August 2026.

A horse galloped down the path at speed. It seemed as if the rider was on some urgent and vital mission. ‘Where are you heading?’ hollered a bystander. ‘I don’t know!’ came the already distant reply, ‘Ask the horse!’ —A Zen story

The manic defence is the tendency, when confronted with threatening thoughts and feelings, to distract the conscious mind with a flurry of activity or with the opposite thoughts and feelings.

A paradigm of the manic defence is the person who spends all their time rushing around from one task to the next, unable to tolerate even short stretches of inactivity. Other examples include the socialite who attends one event after another, the small and dependent boy who charges around declaiming that he is Superman, and the insecure teenager who laughs ‘like a maniac’ at the slightest intimation of sex. The behaviour or activity need not be frantic or compulsive. It might involve working, exercising, socialising, travelling, even helping others.

But that is all beside the point. What matters is what is being blocked out.

In Virginia Woolf’s Mrs Dalloway (1925), one of several ways in which Clarissa Dalloway prevents herself from thinking about her life is by planning needless events and then fussing over their every detail. In the 2002 film The Hours, which takes its inspiration from Woolf’s novel, the poet Richard Brown puts it rather more cruelly: ‘Oh, Mrs Dalloway… Always giving parties to cover the silence.’

The Essence of the Manic Defence

The essence of the manic defence is to prevent feelings of despair and helplessness from entering the conscious mind by occupying it with opposite feelings of euphoria, purposeful activity, and omnipotent control.

This might be why people feel driven not only to mark but also to celebrate such depressing milestones as entering the workforce (graduation), getting ever older (birthdays, anniversaries, New Year), and even, in more recent times, death and dying (Halloween). Our forefathers would be turning in their graves if they could see what had become of All Saints’ Day. 

It can be no coincidence that Christmas, originally a pagan solstice festival, is celebrated in the bleak mid-winter, in the shortest and darkest days of the year. A few years ago, I spent Christmas in New Zealand, where it is summer at that time of year—and the people there made much less of a fuss of it.

The manic defence may also take on more subtle or covert forms, such as creating a commotion over something trivial; filling every ‘spare moment’ with reading, study, or talking on the phone to a friend; spending several months preparing for some civic or sporting event; seeking out status or celebrity so as to be a ‘somebody’ rather than a ‘nobody’; entering into baseless relationships; and even, sometimes, getting married and having children. Of course, I don’t mean you.

When the Manic Defence Becomes a Problem

Everyone uses the manic defence, but some people use it to such an extent that they find it difficult to cope with even short periods of unstructured time such as holidays, weekends, and long-distance travel—which explains why airport shops are so profitable.

Since the advent of smartphones, it can be a struggle to go a few hours, or even the space of a toilet break, without checking our device. God forbid that we should be left alone, even for five minutes, with our own thoughts. The significance of the smartphone is that it has put the manic defence in your pocket, available anytime, anywhere.

Of course, keeping busy need not be unhealthy. It becomes so when we cannot bear to stop—when the activity serves not simply to live or exalt life, but to avoid being alone with ourselves.

The Norse gave the name Hel both to the goddess of death and to her cold, hidden kingdom. Hel is our hell, from an ancient root meaning ‘to conceal’. Unlike Valhalla, with its endless fighting and feasting, Hel is a realm of deprivation and stasis: the horror of nothing happening. Perhaps this is what we fear whenever we stop—not inactivity itself, but descent into the hidden place.

‘To do nothing at all,’ observed Oscar Wilde, long before the advent of the smartphone, ‘is the most difficult thing in the world, the most difficult and the most intellectual.’

People with a strong manic defence are unable to live in the moment, unable to be truly alive. They leave themselves no opportunity to integrate their thoughts or process their emotions, that is, no opportunity to gather perspective or come to terms with reality, that is, no opportunity to grow.

Because they never let it in, they lose all immunity to despair. And so when it finally hits them, it hits them like a tidal wave.

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The Psychology and Philosophy of Laziness

Lion rolling in grass
Masterful inactivity.

By Dr Neel Burton — Psychiatrist, philosopher, and wine writer; Fellow of Green Templeton College, University of Oxford; author of over twenty books.

Essay substantially revised on 30 August 2026.

We are being lazy if we can do something that we ought to do but are reluctant to do it because of the effort involved. We do it badly, or do something else that is less strenuous or onerous, or simply remain idle. In other words, we are being lazy if our motivation to spare ourself effort trumps our motivation to do the right or best or expected thing—assuming, of course, we, someone else, or society have worked out what that is.

The word ‘laziness’ arose in the sixteenth century. Older terms for germane notions are indolence and sloth. Indolence derives from the Latin indolentia, ‘without pain’. Sloth has more moral and spiritual connotations. In the Christian tradition, sloth is one of the seven deadly sins because it invites evil-doing and undermines God’s plan for mankind. The six other deadly sins are lust, gluttony, greed, wrath, envy, and pride, and I’m proud to say that my writings cover them all.

The Bible inveighs against slothfulness in several places, including in Matthew (the Parable of the Talents), Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes. Here’s a snippet from Ecclesiastes, in its inimitable style:

By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through. A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things.

Today, laziness is so closely connected to poverty and failure that a poor person is often presumed to be lazy, no matter how hard he or she actually works. But it could be that laziness is written into our genes. Our nomadic forebears had to conserve energy to compete for scarce resources, flee predators, and fight enemies. Expending effort on anything other than short-term advantage could jeopardise their very survival. In any case, in the absence of conveniences such as banks, insurance, roads, refrigeration, and antibiotics, it made much less sense to plan for the future. Today, mere survival has fallen off the agenda, and it is long-term vision and commitment that lead to the greatest rewards. Yet our instinct remains to conserve energy, making us averse to abstract undertakings with distant and uncertain payoffs.

Why Are People Lazy?

Even so, few people would choose all the time to be lazy.

Many so-called ‘lazy’ people haven’t yet found what they want to do, or, for some reason, are unable to do it. To make matters worse, the job that pays their bills and fills their best hours might have become so abstract and specialised that they can no longer grasp its purpose or product, and, by extension, their part in improving other people’s lives. Unlike a doctor, farmer, or builder, an assistant deputy financial controller in a large multinational corporation cannot be at all certain of the effect or end-product of his or her labour—so why bother? If a child is denied their passion, they may become ‘lazy’. Conversely, what a supposedly lazy child will work at without prompting—whether we approve of it or not—may tell us something important about where their passion lies.

Other psychological factors that can lead to ‘laziness’ are fear and hopelessness. Some people fear success, or don’t have the self-esteem to feel comfortable with success, and laziness is their way of sabotaging themself. Shakespeare conveyed this idea much more eloquently and succinctly in Antony and Cleopatra: ‘Fortune knows we scorn her most when most she offers blows.’ When Destiny knocks at the door, as it does in the first movement of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, many people run upstairs to hide—thinking, instead, to take their second chance. Destiny, however, only knocks once, and early.

Other people fear, not success, but failure, and laziness is preferable to failure because at one remove. ‘It’s not that I failed,’ they can tell themselves, ‘but that I never tried.’

Yet other people are ‘lazy’ because their situation is so hopeless that they cannot even begin to think it through, let alone do something about it. As these people are unable to address their circumstances, it could be argued that they are not truly lazy—which could be said, more or less, of all ‘lazy’ people. The very concept of laziness presupposes the ability to choose not to be lazy, that is, presupposes the existence of free will.

Laziness may be a problem for the lazy person, but it only becomes a matter for concern when it becomes parasitic—when the lazy person, despite being able to contribute, lives off the efforts of others, or takes from the world more than they give back. This is when people start getting upset.

Laziness, Procrastination, and Idleness

Laziness is often confused with procrastination and especially with idleness. To procrastinate (Latin, literally, ‘to forward to tomorrow’) is to postpone a task in favour of other tasks that are less taxing but also less important or urgent. To postpone a task for strategic purposes does not amount to procrastination; for a postponement to amount to procrastination, it has to represent poor and ineffective planning, and result in a higher overall cost to the procrastinator. It’s one thing to delay a tax return until all the numbers are in, but quite another to delay it so that it ruins our holiday or lands us with a fine or tax inspection. Unlike the lazy person, the procrastinator intends to complete the task, and, moreover, eventually does, albeit at a higher overall cost to themself. Notice, it is not effort per se that the procrastinator is avoiding, but the uncomfortable feelings associated with the task (like boredom or resentment at filing their taxes).

To be idle is to be doing nothing. We could be idle because we have nothing to do, or, more exactly, because we can’t think of anything to do. If we clearly do have something to do, we could be idle because we are lazy, but also because we are unable to do that thing, or because we have already done it and are resting and recuperating. The Church grants a day of rest every Sunday, and a convincing argument could be mounted that rest and recuperation do not amount to idleness. Or I’d be idle every evening. To be properly idle, you need to be fully alert.

More radically, we might choose to remain idle because we value idleness and its products above whatever else we might be doing—which, again, is not the same as being lazy. Lord Melbourne, Queen Victoria’s favourite prime minister, extolled the virtues of ‘masterful inactivity’. More recently, Jack Welch, as chairman and CEO of General Electric, spent an hour each day in what he called ‘looking out of the window time’. The German chemist August Kekulé claimed to have discovered the ring structure of the benzene molecule while daydreaming about a snake biting its own tail. Adepts of this kind of strategic idleness use their ‘idle’ moments, among others, to observe life, gather inspiration, maintain perspective, sidestep nonsense and pettiness, reduce inefficiency and half-living, and conserve health and stamina for truly important tasks and problems. Idleness can amount to laziness, but it can also be the most intelligent way of working—as I once told my boss.

More than two thousand years ago, Aristotle made idleness the mark of the great-souled, or great-minded, man (the megalopsychos):

Again, it is characteristic of the great-souled man not to aim at the things commonly held in honour, or the things in which others excel; to be sluggish and to hold back except where great honour or a great work is at stake, and to be a man of few deeds, but of great and notable ones.

That’s why I always say to people, read Aristotle.

The Art of Doing Nothing

Idleness is often romanticised, as epitomised by the Italian expression dolce far niente (‘it is sweet to do nothing’). We tell ourselves that we work hard from a desire for idleness. But in truth, we find even short periods of idleness hard to bear. Research suggests that we often make up justifications for keeping busy, and feel happier for keeping busy even when our busyness is forced upon us. Faced with a traffic jam, many people prefer to make a detour even if the alternative route is likely to take longer than sitting through the traffic. Those most able to be idle—think only of the King of England—are often among the least inclined to be.

There’s a paradox here. We are predisposed to laziness and dream of being idle; at the same time, we always want to be doing something, always need to be distracted. Unlike cats, we are unable to lie around all day long, occasionally moving to track the sun—and only in the evening getting up to toy with a mouse. Perhaps what we really want is the right kind of work, and the right balance. In an ideal world, we would do our own work on our own terms, not somebody else’s work on somebody else’s terms. We would work not because we needed to but because we wanted to, not for money or status but for personal fulfilment and (at the risk of sounding trite) for peace, justice, and love.

On the other side of the coin, it’s all too easy to take idleness for granted. Society prepares us for years and years to be useful as it sees it, but gives us no training in, and little opportunity for, idleness. But strategic idleness is a high art and hard to pull off—not least because we are programmed to panic the moment we step out of the rat race. If we cannot entertain idleness, it is also from fear that our thoughts might suddenly add up—which is why thinkers seek it out.

‘To do nothing at all’ wrote Oscar Wilde (d. 1900), ‘is the most difficult thing in the world, the most difficult and the most intellectual.’

The world would be a much better place if we all had the strength to spend a year looking out of our window.

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The Psychology and Philosophy of Lateness

The White Rabbit
‘Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!’ — The White Rabbit, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

By Dr Neel Burton — Psychiatrist, philosopher, and wine writer; Fellow of Green Templeton College, University of Oxford; author of over twenty books.

Essay substantially revised on 30 August 2026.

The advent of the railways in the nineteenth century obliged towns in Great Britain to align with London Time, or Greenwich Mean Time (GMT). Some towns held out for longer than others. A city that stood its ground was Oxford, and for a time, the great clock on Tom Tower featured not one but two minute hands. Still today, if one is about five minutes late in Oxford, one can claim to be ‘running on Oxford time’.

Of course, no one bears a grudge if you are just five minutes late, which is why the ‘Oxford time’ excuse is a bit of a joke. Except when catching a train, to be five minutes late is not really to be late. Late is when people start getting annoyed.

They get annoyed because your lateness betrays a lack of respect and consideration for them—which is why they get more annoyed, and more quickly, if they are (or think they are) your social or hierarchical superiors. Unless you proffer a good excuse for being late, preferably something that is out of your control (e.g. an elephant on the motorway), being late sends out the message, ‘My time is more valuable than yours,’ that is, ‘I am more important than you,’ and perhaps even, ‘I am doing you a favour by turning up at all.’

It is particularly rude to be late to a formal or important occasion such as a wedding or funeral, or one involving many parts and precise timings such as an elaborate dinner party or civic event.

Why People Are Late

Being late insults others, but it also undermines the person who is late, because it may betray a lack of intelligence, planning, self-knowledge, willpower, or empathy. For instance, it may be that the person who is late has set unrealistic goals and overpacked their schedule, or underestimated the time that it takes to travel from one place to another.

But there are also some more perfidious reasons for being late than mere mediocrity. Some of these reasons involve anger and aggression, others involve self-deception.

Let’s start with anger and aggression. Angry people who behave with almost exaggerated calm and courtesy might nevertheless express their anger through passive means, that is, through (conscious or unconscious) resistance to meeting the reasonable expectations of others. Examples of passive-aggressive behaviour include creating doubt and confusion; forgetting or omitting significant facts or items; withdrawing habitual behaviours such as making a cup of tea, cooking, cleaning, or having sex; shifting blame; and, of course, being late—often on a frequent and unpredictable basis. As the name suggests, passive-aggressive behaviour is a means of expressing aggression covertly, and so without incurring the full emotional and social costs of more overt aggression. It does, however, prevent the underlying issue or issues from being identified and resolved, and can lead to a great deal of upset and resentment in the person or people on its receiving end.

Now let’s talk about the second perfidy, self-deception. As we have seen, being late, especially egregiously or repeatedly late, sends out the message, ‘I am more important than you.’ Of course, one can, and often does, send out a message without it being true—indeed, precisely because it isn’t true. Thus, a person may be late because they feel inferior or unimportant, and being late is a way for them to impose themself upon a situation, attract maximal attention, and even take control of proceedings. You may have noticed that some people in the habit of being late are also in the habit of making a scene out of it: apologising profusely, introducing themselves to everyone in turn, moving furniture around, asking for a clean glass, and so on.

Remaining on the theme of self-deception, being late could also be a form of resistance, a way of showing one’s disapproval for the purpose of the meeting, or resentment at its likely outcome. In the course of psychotherapy, an analysand is likely to display analogous resistance in the form not only of being late, but also of changing the topic, blanking out, falling asleep, or entirely missing appointments. In the context of psychotherapy, such behaviours suggest that the analysand is close to recalling repressed material but fearful of the consequences. If you are fully behind a meeting or event, chances are that you will be on time.

When Being Late Can Serve

I ought to point out that being late is not necessarily unhealthy or pathological. Sometimes, being late is your unconscious telling you that you don’t want to be there, or that it would be better for you not to be there—for instance, it could be that a meeting (or a job) is not the best use of your time, or, even, that it is working against you. Headaches, too, can serve a similar function.

Whenever you are late, you can learn a great deal simply by asking yourself, ‘Why exactly am I late?’ Even if it is ‘only’ because you are too busy, why are you too busy? Often, we keep ourselves as busy as possible so as not to be left alone with our deepest thoughts and feelings, which is, of course, highly counterproductive. And this is another reason for being late: to avoid being left with no one and nothing but ourselves (thank God for smartphones).

Finally, I have a little confession to make. In many social situations, I am often exactly eight minutes late. Why? Well, being early is just as rude, if not more so, than being late, while being exactly on time can sometimes catch out your host (I am often caught out by people who are bang on time, which I guess is a form of me being late). On the other hand, being eight minutes late is not perceived as being late, and gives your host just enough time to sit down for a couple of minutes, gather their thoughts, and begin to look forward to your arrival.

The truly punctual person is not always on time. Sometimes, he doesn’t even arrive.

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